A Following

This makes me nervous. I've suddenly got an audience.

Today I logged on just to tweak the web paint as I mentioned that I need to in my last post. (It's a bit more complicated than I expected and I think I'll have to do a bit of research to figure out how to fix what I want. Uhhh, complications in the code. Yay! Not!) *laughs*

And low and behold, 2 COMMENTS! Woot!

I know I'm so silly, but I can't help but feel butterflies about that. Which is so ridiculous because I have other blogs that I speak my mind in and I don't give it a second thought. And I have a limited audience on those. Maybe it's the whole idea that I'm speaking to people who I'd like to know or don't know me but we're all crossing that "I'd like to know you more" stage.

If I think about it too much, I just might drive myself crazy with the anxiety. So I won't. Maybe I'll go for a walk and walk off the nerves. I need to go out anyhow.


This isn't to say that I don't WANT comments. Cause sure, I do want them! It's neat to know that people read what you write especially on a blog. But it is suddenly intimidating too. Like that whole can't sleep the night before your first day of school starts. Will the other students like me, will I wake up late and forget to put on my cloths? *laugh*

I'm sure I still have the deer in the headlights look on my face from the whole "I'm the ANWA President" too! Sometimes I just can't believe it myself and I have to pitch my arm.


I don't get this about myself? Why do I get nervous about things like this and let it get to me? I don't mind a little bit of attention from time to time. I don't want a TON of attention. Just a little modest attention.

I need to go take that walk!!

New Look

Tonight I just had to put something new up that I've been fiddling with for a few days. I got to a "stopping and using it" point. Actually I did this layout for a completely different idea. The problem is, I got that idea finished and then couldn't for the life of me figure out how to use it the way I wanted to. I may be web savvy but I'm not THAT savvy. There are limits to what I can do online. Takes time to figure out how to do stuff and time isn't something I have extra of. So the original has been sitting on my computer gathering dust. Finally a stroke of inspiration hit and I pulled it out to use it on this blog.

So I had to open the original file and change a bit to make it work how I wanted and where I wanted. (Obviously because it said stuff relevant to the other project.) Finally I have a unique look of my own for this blog. The one before was called "Aspire" and wasn't my personal creation, just some freebie I found on the interweb. I really don't have that much sentimental attachment to it so I'm not even going to try and show you what it looked like. It's enough to say I thought when I first saw it "I loved it" and it would be "perfect." But after awhile, it got really old. So time for a makeover right?

Anyhow, I'm not done yet. I've got a few more things on my mind to tweak here and there, but those will come gradually. This layout is ready to use. The added makeup will come.

Graphical Details: (or disclaimer, since my intention wasn't to steal someone's art online...)
Yes, I did all the graphics myself. I composed them from several images, fonts, and free items from all over the net. The celtic knot bars that frame the side of the middle of the page, those I got as some free graphic online a long time ago. It wasn't copyrighted, and I've changed the color, size, and placement. The castle photo, Bamburgh Castle, Northumberland, England, I believe was from www.gettyimages.com as a "royalty-free" search. The original photographer was, Ian Britton. (But I did a search and found it at a few photo sites.) I used 2 different fonts: Zaphino and Baskerville. The rest are free brushes for photoshop I downloaded from various livejournal.com communities. A free digital scrapbooking page (also a free download), and a few other miscellaneous graphics. In all, if something I used was in question, I tried to manipulate the original image so it became something completely new. I'm not making any money on this site, it's just for my own networking and self expression. But it is always nice to give credit where it is due.

Imagine that!

I have a confession to make... I haven't even hinted about this one for the last six months. It's been on my mind just stewing about because I'm just built like that.

I've gone and gotten myself elected as the Executive President to the American Night Writers Association. *WOW!*

Here's the dirt:

I went to the ANWA retreat this last summer and was posed a challenge to run for the President. Really. At that time I hadn't even been a member of ANWA a complete year. In fact, when my youngest son turns 2 in May it will be two years since I've KNOWN that an organization like ANWA even existed. October 2009 will be my two year joining anniversary. I'm as green as they come!

Last year I volunteered myself to the Vice President of my chapter, Westside Stories, mainly because I wanted to make myself commit to attending monthly and helping in something I believed in. Little could I have known that it was going to lead further than that.

Well, my family's first reaction to all of this was I was crazy and that I didn't have to do it. Which didn't help but it really proved to me that I wasn't going to be influenced by any one person in this decision except myself and a higher power. From the time I left the retreat till the time I finally said, "I'll run," I felt drawn by the spirit of God to this position. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where I felt drawn to do this. There wasn't a prayer that went unanswered about doing it. Believe me I really was on the fence about doing it. I've got two young children and my own issues and things that could make this path for me difficult. But even through all of that I just felt that it was the right thing to do and that God had his hand in making my fears about it calm.

So here I am. Elected.

I don't say this because I am begrudgingly doing it. Not at all. I have really good reasons for saying yes. And it is deeply personal. Even though I have no experience and no connections and very little leadership experience. The one thing that I do have is enthusiasm in this association. And I do love the ladies. I mean what's there not to love? We are all creative, we are all struggling in one way or another, we all love writing... we are one in many things.

I was absolutely certain at last years ANWA Conference, "Line Upon Line" with the speaker's opening presentation that I was going to be an ANWA member for life! Prayers I made in my youth were answered right there and then (and now) when I found this organization. There are so many feelings I want to express about it that I just don't know where to start! Maybe I'll be able to get them out a bit at time in this blog.

But the number one person I want to thank first is God Himself! He answered my prayers, He's guided me this far, and He has faith in me to do the job. Right now is my time to jump in and learn what I can, soak it up like a sponge. I can't say I'll be perfect at it, and I'll need direction with the ropes for a time till I get it all down enough that I'm not a nervous wreck. But I can't go back and not be excited about being here. I can't NOT be involved in something I really am committed to. And that is this organization of ANWA!

ANWA will probably make a bigger impact on me than I will on it. But I will give my best effort and let my heart lead me where it goes. I've never been disappointed when I've followed it. I've still struggled, but it has always benefited my growth as a person in the end. I'm sure this opportunity will be no different.