A Following

This makes me nervous. I've suddenly got an audience.

Today I logged on just to tweak the web paint as I mentioned that I need to in my last post. (It's a bit more complicated than I expected and I think I'll have to do a bit of research to figure out how to fix what I want. Uhhh, complications in the code. Yay! Not!) *laughs*

And low and behold, 2 COMMENTS! Woot!

I know I'm so silly, but I can't help but feel butterflies about that. Which is so ridiculous because I have other blogs that I speak my mind in and I don't give it a second thought. And I have a limited audience on those. Maybe it's the whole idea that I'm speaking to people who I'd like to know or don't know me but we're all crossing that "I'd like to know you more" stage.

If I think about it too much, I just might drive myself crazy with the anxiety. So I won't. Maybe I'll go for a walk and walk off the nerves. I need to go out anyhow.


This isn't to say that I don't WANT comments. Cause sure, I do want them! It's neat to know that people read what you write especially on a blog. But it is suddenly intimidating too. Like that whole can't sleep the night before your first day of school starts. Will the other students like me, will I wake up late and forget to put on my cloths? *laugh*

I'm sure I still have the deer in the headlights look on my face from the whole "I'm the ANWA President" too! Sometimes I just can't believe it myself and I have to pitch my arm.


I don't get this about myself? Why do I get nervous about things like this and let it get to me? I don't mind a little bit of attention from time to time. I don't want a TON of attention. Just a little modest attention.

I need to go take that walk!!

New Look

Tonight I just had to put something new up that I've been fiddling with for a few days. I got to a "stopping and using it" point. Actually I did this layout for a completely different idea. The problem is, I got that idea finished and then couldn't for the life of me figure out how to use it the way I wanted to. I may be web savvy but I'm not THAT savvy. There are limits to what I can do online. Takes time to figure out how to do stuff and time isn't something I have extra of. So the original has been sitting on my computer gathering dust. Finally a stroke of inspiration hit and I pulled it out to use it on this blog.

So I had to open the original file and change a bit to make it work how I wanted and where I wanted. (Obviously because it said stuff relevant to the other project.) Finally I have a unique look of my own for this blog. The one before was called "Aspire" and wasn't my personal creation, just some freebie I found on the interweb. I really don't have that much sentimental attachment to it so I'm not even going to try and show you what it looked like. It's enough to say I thought when I first saw it "I loved it" and it would be "perfect." But after awhile, it got really old. So time for a makeover right?

Anyhow, I'm not done yet. I've got a few more things on my mind to tweak here and there, but those will come gradually. This layout is ready to use. The added makeup will come.

Graphical Details: (or disclaimer, since my intention wasn't to steal someone's art online...)
Yes, I did all the graphics myself. I composed them from several images, fonts, and free items from all over the net. The celtic knot bars that frame the side of the middle of the page, those I got as some free graphic online a long time ago. It wasn't copyrighted, and I've changed the color, size, and placement. The castle photo, Bamburgh Castle, Northumberland, England, I believe was from www.gettyimages.com as a "royalty-free" search. The original photographer was, Ian Britton. (But I did a search and found it at a few photo sites.) I used 2 different fonts: Zaphino and Baskerville. The rest are free brushes for photoshop I downloaded from various livejournal.com communities. A free digital scrapbooking page (also a free download), and a few other miscellaneous graphics. In all, if something I used was in question, I tried to manipulate the original image so it became something completely new. I'm not making any money on this site, it's just for my own networking and self expression. But it is always nice to give credit where it is due.

Imagine that!

I have a confession to make... I haven't even hinted about this one for the last six months. It's been on my mind just stewing about because I'm just built like that.

I've gone and gotten myself elected as the Executive President to the American Night Writers Association. *WOW!*

Here's the dirt:

I went to the ANWA retreat this last summer and was posed a challenge to run for the President. Really. At that time I hadn't even been a member of ANWA a complete year. In fact, when my youngest son turns 2 in May it will be two years since I've KNOWN that an organization like ANWA even existed. October 2009 will be my two year joining anniversary. I'm as green as they come!

Last year I volunteered myself to the Vice President of my chapter, Westside Stories, mainly because I wanted to make myself commit to attending monthly and helping in something I believed in. Little could I have known that it was going to lead further than that.

Well, my family's first reaction to all of this was I was crazy and that I didn't have to do it. Which didn't help but it really proved to me that I wasn't going to be influenced by any one person in this decision except myself and a higher power. From the time I left the retreat till the time I finally said, "I'll run," I felt drawn by the spirit of God to this position. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where I felt drawn to do this. There wasn't a prayer that went unanswered about doing it. Believe me I really was on the fence about doing it. I've got two young children and my own issues and things that could make this path for me difficult. But even through all of that I just felt that it was the right thing to do and that God had his hand in making my fears about it calm.

So here I am. Elected.

I don't say this because I am begrudgingly doing it. Not at all. I have really good reasons for saying yes. And it is deeply personal. Even though I have no experience and no connections and very little leadership experience. The one thing that I do have is enthusiasm in this association. And I do love the ladies. I mean what's there not to love? We are all creative, we are all struggling in one way or another, we all love writing... we are one in many things.

I was absolutely certain at last years ANWA Conference, "Line Upon Line" with the speaker's opening presentation that I was going to be an ANWA member for life! Prayers I made in my youth were answered right there and then (and now) when I found this organization. There are so many feelings I want to express about it that I just don't know where to start! Maybe I'll be able to get them out a bit at time in this blog.

But the number one person I want to thank first is God Himself! He answered my prayers, He's guided me this far, and He has faith in me to do the job. Right now is my time to jump in and learn what I can, soak it up like a sponge. I can't say I'll be perfect at it, and I'll need direction with the ropes for a time till I get it all down enough that I'm not a nervous wreck. But I can't go back and not be excited about being here. I can't NOT be involved in something I really am committed to. And that is this organization of ANWA!

ANWA will probably make a bigger impact on me than I will on it. But I will give my best effort and let my heart lead me where it goes. I've never been disappointed when I've followed it. I've still struggled, but it has always benefited my growth as a person in the end. I'm sure this opportunity will be no different.

So many times...

So many times I have planned to post to this blog and I haven't. So I will have to be better about that. The one thing that I can brag that I have done for the last few months is that I have not missed one ANWA chapter meeting! Even when I've felt like not going my wonderful, loving, and supportive husband has pushed me out the door and told me to go or else. But upon my return I've always thanked him for prodding me when I've not been in the mood to go. I always come back in a GREAT mood. And why not? Having other "creatives" share rubs off on you in good ways.

It's almost as good as chocolate.

Almost...

*giggles*


The only real goals I have been accomplishing in writing terms has been meeting the healthy goal to read, read, and read some more. I read somewhere that you can't be a writer and not be actively reading too. You learn so much from reading what others have written. And there is also the "rubbing off" effect that words have on your brain too! So I have been paying close attention to the words of other authors. I found a few novels from some authors about writing, the process and all that. Those books are next on my list when I've finished the ones I'm currently digesting.

I'll have to share whatever fun knowledge I find within them. I'll probably recommend the ones that stand out the most to me.

Aimee Fluff

I said that 1200 characters was not enough space to write something "About Me." Then I turned around and promptly forgot to write a thing about myself.

*chuckle*

Put off today what you can write about 6 months from now!

I think enough time has gone by that I can officially say, it is time to write something??! Even if it is to just acknowledge it needs to be written and revisited and edited later! I will say all the things that I have failed to say about myself:

About Me:

I'm a dual creative in one body. I both love to write and love to illustrate. (Although currently I'm doing neither because I'm a busy mom.) No one can serve two masters at once. And because I have multiple masters, I just have to take turns following them. I mentioned two, but there are more!

Isn't being a mother a creative thing?? You create children, with the right ingredients.

Okay, so I do lots of creative things. And I attempted to go to college to get some sort of official looking paper that verified that I was able to create things. I attended Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. But as fate would have it, moved before finishing my degree. (Something to do with my husband loosing his job, moving to Arizona, and I refusing to stay behind and finish school without him. Hum, so much for fate.) Someday I will have my chance to finish, because I believe that I will come full circle and it will happen. When it does, I will grab onto that with both hands. Until then I will do what I can.

What I can do is follow my heart. Strangely enough my heart has a mind of its own and sends me in crazy directions from time to time. Thank heavens I also have a head to guide me too. So when one gets tired the other takes over.

I also love to read, and I full heartedly admit that I've read far too many fantasy and science fiction books, and not enough classical novels to count on half of my fingers. A bane that I have recently tried to change.

My fatal flaws include; the inability to spell well 100% of the time, some grammar issues (both easily remedied with the proper classes and study), I enjoy reading every word and not skimming anything, I have a slight temper (although mostly reserved to my family and lately I've been better at controlling it), I often daydream and get lost in dramatic conversations with myself (which my husband loves to over hear from time to time), since I became a mother I've been prone to bouts of anxious episodes, I LOVE to sleep in, I LOVE to stay up late at night, I watch entirely too much television (again all of it has to have some sort of science fiction or fantastic theme), and I'm sure that I could find more amusing things to add here. But I think I've created the picture that I intended. I'm just another ordinary woman on the other side of this computer screen.

I was born in New York State, but I've lived most of my life in Arizona. I call Peoria my home because I live there. I'm online everywhere. So I hang my hat in many different places when it suits me.

I love to vacation! Who doesn't? I haven't been many places but I have a long list of dream places to visit. Maybe I will someday?

I'm sure that I will come up with more for this post... but as it is... I'm actually going to go to bed now.

Ciao!

The Look of Love

Maybe I spoke a little too soon about being excited for my son's kindergarden experience. I was so happy to have more time to do what I was looking forward to do with the new time. The show stopper is that I've since had to take him out of kindergarden because he isn't ready yet to be there.

I have to admit, that my experience with getting a child ready for kindergarden has not given me enough sense to judge correctly when a child really is truly ready to be starting school. My son is very intelligent but he is also very immature to following instructions without standing over him to watch him do it. Besides he just barely turned 5 and it isn't a big rush to get him in kindergarden, especially since he is the youngest in his class. Maybe some kids at the exact age of 5 are ready to be there, but not everyone fits that standard. And I'm okay with that. He will be that much more prepared starting at 6. Thank heavens I also had a wonderful teacher who has kept me in the loop about his progress and was very professional, compassionate, and patient about leading us to our decision to pull him out. Thank you Mrs. Malvin!!

So after doing a mad rush to find a preschool, I am now prepared to go forward and again enjoy having my son around, although at a small personal cost. I may not have as much time as I planned to have, but that will resolve itself in time. And sooner than I will really like years to come I'm sure. So for now, I am mom for a few more hours of the day than a creative. And that's okay. It is a worthy sacrifice.

"Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love."
~ Leo Tolstoy

So many times I think it is easy to look past the ability to love. How it really affects us. How having it and giving it expands us to a higher wisdom. Love is kind, patient, long suffering...

If we start each day with the goal to have more love, more kindness, patience, and long suffering, we become a different person. I'd like to believe that we become better people. And after a long time practicing, we become more than better people. We just ARE better people. So after reading this quote this evening and contemplating all the things that are on my plate. All the decisions that I'm about to make for the rest of this year, I have to say that the reasons behind making them are because I love.

Not in the sense that I'm in love with my husband. Or that I love my kids and family. But that I've been touched by the effect of love in my life. And because love has been abundant in my life, I desire to spread that love to others. I see the world through the eyes of love.

I'm not exactly sure when it was that I had so much love that it changed me forever. It isn't that I've not struggled in my life. I have had loving parents but an equally difficult dose of trial in my childhood too. I'm not going to lie and say that I had a perfect beginning or middle or today. Because I haven't. I struggle just like everyone else.

But I choose to love. And that I think is the most important thing. Love has taught me that sometimes you only get what you decide you will have. If you want love, you have to love first. It is the same of understanding, gratitude, and respect. It is a choice that you have to choose. Love has taught me that it is hard to love when you are unloved. However, if you love yourself first, then no matter how hard it is you will find a way to receive the love that you deserve. This isn't about vain love in oneself. When you have healthy love for yourself, you balance the self love with the giving love. And it all comes back to you when it is time.

Sometimes we give love to those who don't deserve it. I have to admit that I've given that love and I've often wondered why it is that I did that? Especially if they didn't deserve it? I think it comes down to another principle of love that has been taught in the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you can love someone who does not deserve it, you attract the amount of love you gave away back to yourself at a later time. You reap what you indeed sow.

I guess you really can live off of love. If it teaches you so many important principles, if it guides your life, then it affects your life. And doesn't that in the end mean that you can live off of what love has done for you? Love can be a very hard teacher. And I expect that even after I write this, there will be days to come where love is going to teach me more lessons, and sometimes I may even choose to rebuke love and choose something else. But I do hope that I will remember love and make a better resolution to come back to choose love when those days pass. I hope that I will not give up on love, that I look to its teaching methods as a necessary bread of life.

So far, love and I have been fairly close companions.

Oh so much!

Today is the first day of school. And yes you guessed it, I am happy to have some child free time because my younger son is in nap mode for the afternoon. YAY! So this means that I get the wonderful opportunity to be creative for a few hours before older son comes home from his first day of school!

I'm both happy and sad about this "new" moment in my life. The first thing I did after I put him on the bus was go home and call my mother! And yep, she knew exactly when I was about to call and exactly how I was feeling. And we both laughed and sighed together. I've walked around the house so many times today just lost as to what to do before I actually got my stride in to getting chores done. It is so weird!! I'm really glad that I had another child over for the morning to keep youngest son entertained or I'd probably had lost it from the get go.

So, now that I have moments for writing, what do I do? I get on facebook and check out some things that I've not had a chance to check out. One of them happened to be the blog of a college friend of mine, who I haven't seen for a while. We went to BYU together and studied the same major, Illustration. She announced on her blog that she is going for a month to a Plein Air Painting Competition. And honestly I'm pulling a blank, "WHAT is that?" What is Plein Air Painting? And then after googling it, checking out the link she provided from her blog site, and finding a few other references, I find that there is also something called "Plein Air Writing" as well.

Ooooohhhh? I don't know what this is and I am interested.

So lets find out shall we!

En plein air is a French expression which means "in the open air", and is particularly used to describe the act of painting outdoors.

- Wikipedia Definition

So how does one do this with writing then? This article explains it better:

As far as we know, we invented the term “plein-air writing,” right here in the Gorge. We know of no other place in the country, where that term is being used, or has been used, to define a writing event.

With that in mind, we feel free to define it, as we would like. Our definition is thus: Plein-air writing is writing outdoors, with the goal of capturing in an artistically compelling way, what is going on in the moment.

It is different from other forms of writing, in the same ways that plein-air painting is different from other forms of painting.

First, writers are involved in a process of intense observation, absorbing what’s going on around them, and choosing words to reflect the impressions they’re getting about the scene. Just as painters are attuned, writers are attuned to the light and the colors of the day, the sounds or lack of them, the wind, the scents . . . everything.

Second, plein-air writers need to put words down on a piece of paper quickly, before the scene changes. They need to capture their impressions as they occur, in real time, without benefit of subsequently rethinking, reframing, and editing what they think they may have felt or heard or saw at the time.

Third, plein-air writing is every bit as challenging as plein-air painting. Writers need to be highly skilled, to come up with just the right word, just the right emphasis, just the right flow . . . just as painters need to be able to quickly choose the right color and brush, and make just the right stroke.

Finally, because it happens relatively quickly, works written en plein air are primarily short works of art, just as paintings done in plein air are usually small in size.

- web link (Also downloadable PDF)


I think I have to say that I want to try this someday. It sounds like a fun thing to do. I may do it on my own at my home, but someday it would be interesting to actually go for this 5 day competition that they have to try my hand at Plein Air Writing. It sounds so organic and earthy. I think I'd enjoy it. When I can actually break away from the kids and feel confident enough in my writing craft to try it, I'm gonna!

Summer miles...

This is my first summer with 2 active boys. I now understand why my mom dreaded the summer. You get nothing done because the kids are into everything and under foot constantly.

Which isn't a bad thing. But in terms of writing and accomplishing things. Ack.

Well, it doesn't last forever. Full day Kindergarden comes the middle of August and I will be much better posting then.

Till then, I will enjoy my boys and get what I can done and I'll be back in the fall.

So I'm on a roll...

We had our March meeting for the Westside Stories just last evening. It was a wonderful meeting, very uplifting.

"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."
~ E.L. Doctorow

This was the thought that I brought to share. I really like that quote although I just found it recently online. Life teaches you experience that makes a big impact on your writing if you let it. If you tap into it.

The one bit of information that I want to post really quick, because it is on my mind and the most inspiring thing that was given to us at the ANWA Conference by Tristi Pinkston, is a speech given by an LDS General Authority in 1888 by Orson F. Whitney titled "Home Literature." We could hardly remember it all, because she used so much of the information from that speech, so note taking was difficult. (I was going to email her and get the full text, but the Westside Stories President, Faith, found it for us.)

A most excellent read!

Orson F. Whitney "Home Literature"

Tristi gave a compelling lesson about tapping into our spirituality to became a better writer. She challenged that writing is a deeply spiritual experience and that every good writer taps their spirituality to do their best work. In fact, if we do not tap that spirituality our writing lacks a spark that will make it stand out from just any book, poem, or writing genre.

I will definitely share more of what I learned in her class. Just not right now.

My First Post

So I guess I should write something interesting in this post since it is my "first."

I totally would... but I'm so focused on making the decor look nice, inviting, and unique for my focus in this blog... that I'm using all my creativity to beautify it.

I know, BIG disappointment. But it is what it is. I'm a writer who is also a "SAHM" and I can only do so much in one day at one time. (Heck, sometimes it is only 5 minutes, if that?) I'll probably continue to make little changes as I go.

But I do have time to say just a tad about myself. I just attended a Conference given by ANWA this last weekend on March 1st. (American Night Writers Association) It was amazing. I'll definitely be writing more about that conference in the future as I review my notes and write about what I learned.

I've been a member of ANWA for a few months now, but I've been attending meetings for about a year next month. It is an amazing resource!! I'm really glad that the President of my chapter, the Westside Stories, felt inspired to pass around some fliers at church or I'd never have known about it!

Actually, I volunteered to be the Vice President of our chapter this year. I did that so I'd make myself feel more responsible to come. Motivation. Can't back out now, cause I'm part of the leadership!! (Good thing that no one was really jumping to be the vice president!) That may be a bad reason for the other members to have me as their fearless vice pres, cause I volunteered, but for me it really IS a good motivation for me to be responsible to the rest of the group. Which is also the reason why I'm going to meetings to begin with. To have a group of people that want to hear what I've done for the last month in writing terms, gives you your first audience. Sympathetic ears.

One of the lessons I gave this last fall 2007 said just that. That bit of information came from a book called "Art & Fear" by David Bayles and Ted Orland. Many wise words and great information about why we do what we do and what keeps us from doing it is in that book. I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in any creative medium, as it is about "Art" and "creative individuals" as a whole.