Friday, February 24, 2012

First Order of Business:

Updates! I haven't been keeping this blog up very well. And I intend to do better at that this year. I was busy all of 2011 doing lots of things; podcasting, reviewing comics, getting interested in writing comics, and doing the ANWA Newsletter. AND on top of all that being a mom and a wife! So, two full time jobs.

Yeah, superwoman couldn't cut it if she were me and a few things had to give.

I've stepped back from a ton of podcasting ventures. I started a comic book writing class (which is excellent) and then I went to "Life, The Universe, and Everything Symposium" and realized that I comic book writing, while interesting, fun, and I might actually enjoy doing, isn't where I want to be right now. Mostly due to a keynote address that I attended at the LTUE symposium, just really hit me that I'm distracted with comic book writing and not focusing on my one real love. (And novel writing has been my focus since I was a kid.) Kinda an expensive thing to realize now, in light of the comic class, but still not a total loss as writing stories which ever medium still involves meeting at a blank screen/page and putting something there. And I'm definitely learning its the same process regardless what format you write.

And then the big hit that is happening in all this… I won't be the ANWA newsletter editor much longer. I have extremely mixed feelings on this as I've really enjoyed being editor and I wanted to continue for another year at least (if not longer). (If I could pick the one job I'd excel at and would find myself perfectly suited to perform, it would be designer and inspirer. Two things I have a LOT of training in. And something I never tire of, nor out of ideas.) I won't go into much detail or opinion about it other than to say my leaving does not come without me fighting for the position and still losing. And no, it's not an amicable departure. I guess I wouldn't be as upset about it if I hadn't been 100% vocal for the last few months about intending to stay on and being told the position was mine for as long as I wanted it. (Like I said, I fought and worked hard for this position.) I've put a lot of hours, thought, and spiritual effort into creating a positive and uplifting forum that all members could enjoy and be inspired to write from. I've gotten a lot of feed back from ANWA members who've been inspired by it. So how things have turned when so much positive has come out of it… It's a big slap to the face. And I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm really hurt by this.

So February has been a ball of both positive and negative outcomes… It's been intense… traveling, drama, all out battling for something I've invested a lot of time and effort into, doing an online comic writing class, more traveling, then being inspired by a symposium… by other writers who've battled their own wars on their path to success… It was exactly what I needed when I've been so low and in the dumps. And then comic reviewing side of things… suddenly the stories are out of this world as well… so all around the lowest lows of my year and the highest highs to help me through them. It's been very emotional across the board.

So what's in store for Aimee then?

More time to write is on the horizon. Although I'm still working through emotions as so many ups and downs, consequences of being one of those people that fully invests herself in her endeavors, just play havoc with my ability to work on the page. If I'm not gushing about a story I read I'm ranting about my frustrations for the last two weeks. Yay for being an emotional person! And I highly sensitive one at that. (Which I find is one of my strengths rather than a weakness. But it too needs its place to breathe in my life...)

So, goal time… March is my pick up and move on month. Where I expect that I'll buckle down and get back on my writer track and do what I was born to do. This blog post is a note to my subconscious that whatever happened in February happened, don't let it get you down. There's your mourning time to work through things both ups and downs… but come March 1st, you get back in the game. I'm a fighter. Fighters take on wounds at times and they need to heal. Do that, but don't let it keep you from jumping back in the ring.

"Look me in the eye.

It's okay if you're scared. So am I.

But we're scared for different reasons. I'm scared of what I won't become, you're scared of what I could become.

Look at me.

I won't let myself end where I started. I won't let myself finish where I began.

I know what is within me. Even if you can't see it yet.

Look me in the eyes. I have something more important than courage.

I have patience.

I will become what I know I am."

- Michael Jordan