Posts
I had plenty of ideas on what I wanted to do with this blog and I’ve failed on all of them. DOH! So rather than just say great things about what I want to do with it, lets just say I have ideas but because I’m busy with kids and life I haven’t been implementing them.
I’ll get around to writing good stuff at some point. Today I gave some advice to a young student about how to create a presence online. I said be consistently putting stuff out there. And I am going to use my own advice and put something on my blog. (And the next thing I was ABOUT to say was consistently.) I’m gonna catch myself before I say that though, I know that the best intensions are there but not the habits.
SO I will post a blog that says… I’M AT LTUE 2014. If you see me walking around, come say hi! I’m all by myself usually. I come here to be lifted up by all the awesome that is in one room. Or under one Hotel. This place bleeds talent and some really talented people come here yearly to give us all a boost. Which is why I come back year after year. It’s my fill my cup weekend.
Anyhow, I’ve been going to this conference for 5 years! This is my 5th year. Oh my goodness… I can’t believe I’ve been this many times. I’m really gonna need to explain to myself WHY I haven’t gotten anything published yet.
I’m really empty right now. And yet as I say that, I’m here at LTUE trying to fill it. And there are many online friends giving me words of encouragement that are also filling my cup up too.
Being creative is fueled by filling that cup for me. And it’s not all by the stuff others do to fill it. Sometimes it’s just finding a quiet corner in my house to sit and gaze at the clouds as they go lazily by. Sometimes it's getting hugs from my boys, cause they give really great hugs.
Showing posts with label conference. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conference. Show all posts
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Oh My Goodness!
I have not written in this blog for most of this year. Not that it is a bad thing... just been busy with everything. Whether it was with my ANWA responsibilities, family, or writing don't have time to do anything else... it was something.
So I will try and be better about this. I got a new faster computer this fall and I'm enjoying it. Still transferring stuff from the old one to the new one and all that fun stuff. Go me!
But I'm still writing. In fact, I did NaNoWriMo this month... half the month was great. Then I hint a block... not sure if it was because I was trying to make the text too perfect or I just couldn't find my happy place? For about a week, I suddenly was too tired to do anything by time the evening rolled around I wanted to just go to bed. And I did. Then Thanksgiving hit and I had guests at my home and I think worry and a racing mind killed the muse there.
SO, NaNoWriMo... the point is to make you write and to develop good stable writing habits right? So it was a success if it got me to write 10K words this month. And that makes me a happy camper.
This evening I opened a twitter account:
Yep, I tweet now.
And at the end of this year I will no longer be the President of American Night Writers Association. Yep. My two years is over. I'll be back though. It's been fun! I've learned so much and it really helped me to gain the confidence that I was lacking at that point in my life. I can say with confidence I feel more like a writer today then I ever have been in my whole life. And I'm certainly writing more than I ever have before too. All thanks to ANWA and attending conferences!!
Which reminds me... LTUE anyone? Gonna be here in February! And then of course the wonderful ANWA conference the following weekend! Yep that's right readers, February is gonna be really crazy fun with conferences and stuff!
The ANWA Conference "Writing at the Speed of Life" is a two day conference this year with pitch sessions and a workshop the Friday before. You can register for the conference here. It's gonna be really fun so register now all the details are at the website. You can also follow the conference tweets as well at:
ANWA Conference 2011 is also on facebook too!
Okay well, now I gotta go write.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Month of Conferences:
February is my month for writing conferences. I'm leaving tomorrow at the opening of the morning to travel to Provo Utah for the first one this month.
http://www.ltue.org/
It's FREE! At least to attend but since I'll be driving and needing food, staying with friends, it isn't completely free.
I'll let you know how it was when I get back.
The next one will be Saturday February 27th all day. The Annual ANWA Conference, which I am hosting. Well, not me alone. ANWA is putting it on, but I'm the President so I'll be the one introducing and welcoming everyone to the conference. It'll be fun. You should come, we've got lots of great speakers and presenters. It's going to rock! We have some nice stuff planned and you'll be sorry if you miss out! Go to the following link to register!
http://anwa-lds.com/conference.html
I'm also the one who created and designed the new ANWA logo. Yeah, I've been meaning to post some stuff about it but I just have been busy. So I'll post more later!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Whitney Awards:
I'm SOO bummed. I went to the awards and I FORGOT my program! I've searched everywhere and I must have left it on the table after it was done. I could just kick myself in the shin. Especially since I really wanted to keep it as the first one I ever attended... to remind me that great writing and writers have their moment. (If there are any extras OR if anyone isn't planning on keeping yours, please can I have it??)
Maybe someday it might mean something more to me? Ya know? Not that it didn't mean enough already. The whole event was just neat neat neat! Great to see Kerry Blair get a lifetime achievement award. All the support in seeing her up their on stage. Being so happy for her and all that she has inspired in others. And glad to have rubbed shoulders with her in ANWA. (I'm glad to say I finally read my first Kerry Blair novel!!) This is an accomplishment for me because I've only been an ANWA member for 2 years this fall! (Yep, that's right, I'm new AND I'm the President! How did that happen?)
And then to hear from Orson Scott Card and the great things he said in his acceptance speech for a Lifetime Achievement Award. It just inspires you to be that much more onboard with writing to join the movement of LDS writers in the main stream. I'm really grateful for all that he said and if I could get a copy of it, to look back on it when I get discouraged, that would be something nice to remember for all time. (Besides the fact that this last year I also became a big fan of his too!) Don't ask me why I didn't pick up one of Card's books earlier. It's been on my list of things to read, I just didn't get around to it until I was married and had kids!!
If I'd been paying better attention to names I would have realized that when they made reference to another author in the room finishing up the "Wheel of Time" series I would have KNOWN that they were talking about Robert Jordan's books and that the author his wife picked to finish that series was in the room as well!! *Head desk*
Okay I'd admit it, my brain is in a funk and I'm not the brightest crayon in the box this month. DOH!
Next year I'll be on my game much better!
And of course, everyone who got an award!! So excited and happy for all of them. And even just the nominees! Everyone who was nominated had a book that other people read and they told their stories. That is fabulous in and of itself.
Honestly, I had my break down moments at this conference. No particular reason, just that I feel I'm starting all over from scratch. Well, I did at a few moments. And I happen to be particularly emotional this month. More than usual. Hormones can really be a curse at times in your life. On the upside of this, I didn't make a huge scene in front of people, well, maybe just a few... and they were all completely supportive and comforting. You know who you are and THANK YOU!
It was all reminiscent of when I was in College and I was politely kicked out of my figure drawing class. And I say politely because I left the class not because I had done anything wrong, but I wasn't really ready to be in the class and learning the instruction my teacher was giving at the time. I'll probably remember that day for the rest of my life! And not because I was upset, but because of everything it did for me because I wasn't ready to be there. I wanted to be there. REALLY bad! I could see it, understand it, and accept that Mr. Barksdale was doing exactly the right thing. But I wanted to be there in every thread of my being. I wasn't ready. I was sad, frustrated, and really emotional about it. I could also tell that I really made him uncomfortable because I was crying, and I didn't think he expected that reaction.
I mean can you imagine, very strong big artist type telling a very young little lady that she just got through without his notice and isn't ready to be at the level everyone else is. She needs to go back a step, and the whole time she's sobbing. He just didn't know what TO say.
A year later I was back in his class. He remembered me, was excited to see I was there and ready. And I was really ready that time to learn what he was teaching. I just had to go through one hard day and one hard realization that I wasn't there just yet. And then a lot of work afterwards. It made me a better artist though. It made all the difference to let myself just be and allow the learning process to happen instead of make it happen. I think that is when I really realized that my journey and the journeys of others aren't the same and don't have to be the same. There is a difference between letting it happen and making it happen. Some things you learn at a pace you can't predict or control. And sometimes your path isn't going to be a step by step goal that you reach. Some goals have to be felt with the heart, learned with practice, frustration, and patience. That isn't always easy. But its worth it.
I had one of those moments at this conference. Just a personal A-Ha moment. Good signs, I say. And I will remember this experience for a long time to come. Just like the drawing class experience. It's earmarked into my memory. And now that I've written about it, even more so.
I won't feel guilty if I'm not where I imagined myself to be writing wise at this point in my life. I won't make up unrealistic expectations and make things as I want them to be. But I'll be patient and work hard and see where things are in a year or more. The thing is I'm not always the most patient person. *laugh* And that does not work to my benefit!
AT ALL!
*LOL*
I'm sure I'm not alone in that though.
Okay, so I meant to write about how wonderful the Whitney Awards where and I ended up writing about the meaning of my life! Maybe that is the moral of my experience. Being at the Whitney's inspired my creative existence. It instilled just one more reason, one more purpose to write, write, write! Because the pen truly is mightier than the sword. There is power in words, and if you want to make a positive mark on the world you can with words. I guess deep down I do want to, I mean it isn't the only reason but it is one of the many. Even if it is just a fantasy story that everyone reads and likes. J.R.R. Tolkien did it. C.S. Lewis did it. Lots of others have since then too. And before them as well.
This is just one more experience to add to the accumulation of what makes my journey get to where it goes. I am grateful for it. I want to appreciate it and never forget it's importance. Cause someday, maybe I'll be one of those people inspiring others and I may or may not even know it. I think taking time to appreciate the little things is what makes doing anything creative important. It's the little things that make the magic happen. It's the little things that keep you going when you feel like you want to quit.
Maybe someday it might mean something more to me? Ya know? Not that it didn't mean enough already. The whole event was just neat neat neat! Great to see Kerry Blair get a lifetime achievement award. All the support in seeing her up their on stage. Being so happy for her and all that she has inspired in others. And glad to have rubbed shoulders with her in ANWA. (I'm glad to say I finally read my first Kerry Blair novel!!) This is an accomplishment for me because I've only been an ANWA member for 2 years this fall! (Yep, that's right, I'm new AND I'm the President! How did that happen?)
And then to hear from Orson Scott Card and the great things he said in his acceptance speech for a Lifetime Achievement Award. It just inspires you to be that much more onboard with writing to join the movement of LDS writers in the main stream. I'm really grateful for all that he said and if I could get a copy of it, to look back on it when I get discouraged, that would be something nice to remember for all time. (Besides the fact that this last year I also became a big fan of his too!) Don't ask me why I didn't pick up one of Card's books earlier. It's been on my list of things to read, I just didn't get around to it until I was married and had kids!!
If I'd been paying better attention to names I would have realized that when they made reference to another author in the room finishing up the "Wheel of Time" series I would have KNOWN that they were talking about Robert Jordan's books and that the author his wife picked to finish that series was in the room as well!! *Head desk*
Okay I'd admit it, my brain is in a funk and I'm not the brightest crayon in the box this month. DOH!
Next year I'll be on my game much better!
And of course, everyone who got an award!! So excited and happy for all of them. And even just the nominees! Everyone who was nominated had a book that other people read and they told their stories. That is fabulous in and of itself.
Honestly, I had my break down moments at this conference. No particular reason, just that I feel I'm starting all over from scratch. Well, I did at a few moments. And I happen to be particularly emotional this month. More than usual. Hormones can really be a curse at times in your life. On the upside of this, I didn't make a huge scene in front of people, well, maybe just a few... and they were all completely supportive and comforting. You know who you are and THANK YOU!
It was all reminiscent of when I was in College and I was politely kicked out of my figure drawing class. And I say politely because I left the class not because I had done anything wrong, but I wasn't really ready to be in the class and learning the instruction my teacher was giving at the time. I'll probably remember that day for the rest of my life! And not because I was upset, but because of everything it did for me because I wasn't ready to be there. I wanted to be there. REALLY bad! I could see it, understand it, and accept that Mr. Barksdale was doing exactly the right thing. But I wanted to be there in every thread of my being. I wasn't ready. I was sad, frustrated, and really emotional about it. I could also tell that I really made him uncomfortable because I was crying, and I didn't think he expected that reaction.
I mean can you imagine, very strong big artist type telling a very young little lady that she just got through without his notice and isn't ready to be at the level everyone else is. She needs to go back a step, and the whole time she's sobbing. He just didn't know what TO say.
A year later I was back in his class. He remembered me, was excited to see I was there and ready. And I was really ready that time to learn what he was teaching. I just had to go through one hard day and one hard realization that I wasn't there just yet. And then a lot of work afterwards. It made me a better artist though. It made all the difference to let myself just be and allow the learning process to happen instead of make it happen. I think that is when I really realized that my journey and the journeys of others aren't the same and don't have to be the same. There is a difference between letting it happen and making it happen. Some things you learn at a pace you can't predict or control. And sometimes your path isn't going to be a step by step goal that you reach. Some goals have to be felt with the heart, learned with practice, frustration, and patience. That isn't always easy. But its worth it.
I had one of those moments at this conference. Just a personal A-Ha moment. Good signs, I say. And I will remember this experience for a long time to come. Just like the drawing class experience. It's earmarked into my memory. And now that I've written about it, even more so.
I won't feel guilty if I'm not where I imagined myself to be writing wise at this point in my life. I won't make up unrealistic expectations and make things as I want them to be. But I'll be patient and work hard and see where things are in a year or more. The thing is I'm not always the most patient person. *laugh* And that does not work to my benefit!
AT ALL!
*LOL*
I'm sure I'm not alone in that though.
Okay, so I meant to write about how wonderful the Whitney Awards where and I ended up writing about the meaning of my life! Maybe that is the moral of my experience. Being at the Whitney's inspired my creative existence. It instilled just one more reason, one more purpose to write, write, write! Because the pen truly is mightier than the sword. There is power in words, and if you want to make a positive mark on the world you can with words. I guess deep down I do want to, I mean it isn't the only reason but it is one of the many. Even if it is just a fantasy story that everyone reads and likes. J.R.R. Tolkien did it. C.S. Lewis did it. Lots of others have since then too. And before them as well.
This is just one more experience to add to the accumulation of what makes my journey get to where it goes. I am grateful for it. I want to appreciate it and never forget it's importance. Cause someday, maybe I'll be one of those people inspiring others and I may or may not even know it. I think taking time to appreciate the little things is what makes doing anything creative important. It's the little things that make the magic happen. It's the little things that keep you going when you feel like you want to quit.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
LDStorymakers Conference
Overall... totally rocks!! I'm coming back next year because I love it so much! This has to be a yearly visited conference. (Just like the ANWA Conference too.)
I came up with some of my fellow ANWA members, Tina Scott and Valerie Ipson, to rainy Provo Utah. (At least it is raining this weekend. Which is okay in my book because I'm inside taking classes!) I've gotten books and tons of great classes to help improve my craft! (Notes to remember it all.) I've met other authors and gotten to know new people who are all amazing!
Like I said... it totally rocks! And I can't say anything more. I'm still here at the conference right now writing this entry during a break. I have yet to attend the Whitney Award Gala... so that will be my next post. Probably when I get home because I don't have the internet access in my hotel room.
If you get a chance to come to the LDStorymakers Conference next year, DO IT!
I came up with some of my fellow ANWA members, Tina Scott and Valerie Ipson, to rainy Provo Utah. (At least it is raining this weekend. Which is okay in my book because I'm inside taking classes!) I've gotten books and tons of great classes to help improve my craft! (Notes to remember it all.) I've met other authors and gotten to know new people who are all amazing!
Like I said... it totally rocks! And I can't say anything more. I'm still here at the conference right now writing this entry during a break. I have yet to attend the Whitney Award Gala... so that will be my next post. Probably when I get home because I don't have the internet access in my hotel room.
If you get a chance to come to the LDStorymakers Conference next year, DO IT!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Little bits:
The conference was a great success! Almost 100 people came! Can you believe that? If we keep getting more and more people every year we are going to have to get a bigger place to have it at. Which is too bad because the school we have it at is a fun place, it is a place where many have attended and are familiar with.
But change is good. We'll see how things go for next year.
Yep, I was dang nervous. Things went. I'm not sure how well, but I didn't have a total meltdown moment so that is good. It was very intimidating being in front of so many people and being in charge. I know it seems trivial. But this is the biggest leadership position I've held since my first years in College. After having kids and going through PPD with both of them, confidence is a little on the low side for me. SO my goal for next year is to have more of that. YAY! There are things that I'd definitely do better so now I've got a bit of experience to fall back on. Next year will be better. Looking forward to that!
I have notes to share, I missed one of the presenters... which happens... but I'll share the stuff that I found the most uplifting in future posts.
Personal Writing Goals for this month:
Write two pages on my story and briefly edit them.
I know this is a small goal, it is, and I'm okay with that. I'm a busy mom to boys, a 5.5 year old and a almost 2 year old. Some evenings I have meetings with various activities and then spending time with my DH too. I think that two pages is a modest goal that I can reach. Start small, miss small! And then if I feel that it is too low, I can always do more next month! The point is to do something because just saying I'm going to write just isn't good enough. A have to have some sort of way to gear that. So this is my way.
But change is good. We'll see how things go for next year.
Yep, I was dang nervous. Things went. I'm not sure how well, but I didn't have a total meltdown moment so that is good. It was very intimidating being in front of so many people and being in charge. I know it seems trivial. But this is the biggest leadership position I've held since my first years in College. After having kids and going through PPD with both of them, confidence is a little on the low side for me. SO my goal for next year is to have more of that. YAY! There are things that I'd definitely do better so now I've got a bit of experience to fall back on. Next year will be better. Looking forward to that!
I have notes to share, I missed one of the presenters... which happens... but I'll share the stuff that I found the most uplifting in future posts.
Personal Writing Goals for this month:
Write two pages on my story and briefly edit them.
I know this is a small goal, it is, and I'm okay with that. I'm a busy mom to boys, a 5.5 year old and a almost 2 year old. Some evenings I have meetings with various activities and then spending time with my DH too. I think that two pages is a modest goal that I can reach. Start small, miss small! And then if I feel that it is too low, I can always do more next month! The point is to do something because just saying I'm going to write just isn't good enough. A have to have some sort of way to gear that. So this is my way.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Little Lessons
I don't think I have ever spent so much time emailing for little details as I have on behalf of planning for the Conference. It is amazing to me. But all the little things behind the scenes are boggling my brain tonight.
I am amazed though at the turn out, besides all the nerves and stuff and personal anxieties that I have about being in front of people today I think I'm handling it much better. Go me! Ignore the worries until there is a reason for fretting about them. Thing is this conference is just going to be great and I doubt there is anything I could possibly do to spoil it.
Tonight I got a chance to talk to one of the presenters and it just verified to me one of the reasons why I'm doing this to begin with. Because it is just neat NEAT to rub shoulders with people who mirror your passion in literature and the arts. Kindred spirits! Finding them makes you feel all warm inside especially when they say something that you've always thought in your own head and just never have had the chance to say.
One of the goals that I've wanted to continue on the Board while I'm in office is to keep growing! If it is great at 192 members it will be even better at 290! (No that is not a prediction, we just want to keep growing!) At our last meeting we set a small goal to bring 1 new person in the next month. I didn't set this and honestly when I heard that my first reaction was a little bit of anxiety. Do you see a trend here? I MUST be an anxious person! eheheh
Actually it is good for me to not be always comfortable so bare with me on the little insecurities that I have.
Anyhow, I chided myself a few seconds later for being resistant to talking to someone about ANWA. I encouraged myself to just be positive and see what happens. Can you believe it that I've actually talked with a few people about ANWA since then? I mean, I was nervous cause I wasn't sure what to say. But I did it. I think that is pretty darn good of me. I guess my hang up is how do I completely express exactly how I feel about ANWA in one sentence? Right now that is really hard for me because I am overly excited about it. My tongue ties in knots and my brain hangs up on the words. Probably because I'm nervous about talking to people. Writing, no problem, but talking makes my knees quake.
And it IS my goal to over come that! Baby steps and all that personal encouragement!
One of the reasons why I'm verbalizing all this in my blog has a lot to do with a few things that I recall hearing. You know how little snipets of things people say stay with you. Each person hears something and can get something different out of the same message. Well, for some reason I recall a snipet of something that was said to me at the retreat this last year. It was said to me personally and I took it to heart because I often considered it when I was debating on running for president. See I wasn't sure if a person like myself, who was unpublished, busy, tongue tied, and inexperienced in leadership should run for president. The current President at the time reassured me, several times in fact, all that was required to do this job was to have a love for the members. And she was absolutely right. I have little experience and most of the time have felt like I'm free falling into space when it comes to knowing what to do or having the knowledge of how to run things.
All of that doesn't matter. It runs itself and honestly there are so many people who love this organization it isn't going to go belly up anytime soon. Why I was so hung up on the fear of not being able to do it all probably had more to do with my mental state at the time. And those little discouraging mental conversations that we have with ourselves when we are on the cusp of doing something that is actually good for us. Being where I am right now is really good for me on many different fronts. Everyone has their own journey, this is mine.
I'm saying this mostly because I hope that someday if there is someone else in ANWA that is avoiding running for office, that you rethink your fear about that. We need leaders even if it is just in name at first. When you get your personal reasons for doing it, then you make great impacts. Sometimes it is just the first hurtle to say "I'm going to do this even if I don't think I'm ready or able." Being in this position is making me ready. I couldn't see that at first when I was first asked to do this. But I get it now. Just be brave and have faith in yourself. And it isn't very hard. It's the same concept we have in believing in ourselves to write and publish. If you don't believe in yourself you aren't going to get very far.
I believe that I can do this job and do it well. Hopefully when I look back I will be able to see that I did it and I'll come back and serve again.
And then again, if believing in yourself is your biggest hang up, because I'm sure there are a few of us out there. Baby steps. Start somewhere.
The other thing that I've learned is everyone is busy. Not just me. But everyone. REALLY! I think it is our tendency, or maybe it is just my tendency, to think that we have so much going on that we can't see other people do to. If ever I think "I just don't have time to do this, what was I thinking?" I go and I listen to other members. Especially board members. That silences any lingering doubts about being too busy. We all are busy. We just find the time one way or another or plan MONTHS in advance so we can get the things done that we need to. Sometimes I just write a "To Do List" and then go down the line so I don't forget what needs to be done. It amazes me how much planning has gone on for the conference that is taking place this weekend! Way before I was ever elected. So the ball was moving way ahead of time.
Despite how excited I am though, I still feel green about this position. But I'm not afraid like I was. Actually I take that back, I still can be fearful, I just take the seeds of those fears out back and shoot them IMMEDIATELY! Sometimes I have to shoot them more than once and they have a nasty habit of resurrecting and coming back. I get the whole idea now about how a leader can still be afraid but yet not let the fear take over. I just keep saying to myself that it's okay to fear and it is even alright to just get comfortable with it and then I'm not so afraid.
I'm sure there are many applications to using that in life.
Moral of the story is silence your negative internal voice, don't say you can't when you really don't know until you try, and just do it. All sage and great advice to live by. To bad I didn't invent them. They have been floating around for years this is just my application of them in my life.
Ciao
I am amazed though at the turn out, besides all the nerves and stuff and personal anxieties that I have about being in front of people today I think I'm handling it much better. Go me! Ignore the worries until there is a reason for fretting about them. Thing is this conference is just going to be great and I doubt there is anything I could possibly do to spoil it.
Tonight I got a chance to talk to one of the presenters and it just verified to me one of the reasons why I'm doing this to begin with. Because it is just neat NEAT to rub shoulders with people who mirror your passion in literature and the arts. Kindred spirits! Finding them makes you feel all warm inside especially when they say something that you've always thought in your own head and just never have had the chance to say.
One of the goals that I've wanted to continue on the Board while I'm in office is to keep growing! If it is great at 192 members it will be even better at 290! (No that is not a prediction, we just want to keep growing!) At our last meeting we set a small goal to bring 1 new person in the next month. I didn't set this and honestly when I heard that my first reaction was a little bit of anxiety. Do you see a trend here? I MUST be an anxious person! eheheh
Actually it is good for me to not be always comfortable so bare with me on the little insecurities that I have.
Anyhow, I chided myself a few seconds later for being resistant to talking to someone about ANWA. I encouraged myself to just be positive and see what happens. Can you believe it that I've actually talked with a few people about ANWA since then? I mean, I was nervous cause I wasn't sure what to say. But I did it. I think that is pretty darn good of me. I guess my hang up is how do I completely express exactly how I feel about ANWA in one sentence? Right now that is really hard for me because I am overly excited about it. My tongue ties in knots and my brain hangs up on the words. Probably because I'm nervous about talking to people. Writing, no problem, but talking makes my knees quake.
And it IS my goal to over come that! Baby steps and all that personal encouragement!
One of the reasons why I'm verbalizing all this in my blog has a lot to do with a few things that I recall hearing. You know how little snipets of things people say stay with you. Each person hears something and can get something different out of the same message. Well, for some reason I recall a snipet of something that was said to me at the retreat this last year. It was said to me personally and I took it to heart because I often considered it when I was debating on running for president. See I wasn't sure if a person like myself, who was unpublished, busy, tongue tied, and inexperienced in leadership should run for president. The current President at the time reassured me, several times in fact, all that was required to do this job was to have a love for the members. And she was absolutely right. I have little experience and most of the time have felt like I'm free falling into space when it comes to knowing what to do or having the knowledge of how to run things.
All of that doesn't matter. It runs itself and honestly there are so many people who love this organization it isn't going to go belly up anytime soon. Why I was so hung up on the fear of not being able to do it all probably had more to do with my mental state at the time. And those little discouraging mental conversations that we have with ourselves when we are on the cusp of doing something that is actually good for us. Being where I am right now is really good for me on many different fronts. Everyone has their own journey, this is mine.
I'm saying this mostly because I hope that someday if there is someone else in ANWA that is avoiding running for office, that you rethink your fear about that. We need leaders even if it is just in name at first. When you get your personal reasons for doing it, then you make great impacts. Sometimes it is just the first hurtle to say "I'm going to do this even if I don't think I'm ready or able." Being in this position is making me ready. I couldn't see that at first when I was first asked to do this. But I get it now. Just be brave and have faith in yourself. And it isn't very hard. It's the same concept we have in believing in ourselves to write and publish. If you don't believe in yourself you aren't going to get very far.
I believe that I can do this job and do it well. Hopefully when I look back I will be able to see that I did it and I'll come back and serve again.
And then again, if believing in yourself is your biggest hang up, because I'm sure there are a few of us out there. Baby steps. Start somewhere.
The other thing that I've learned is everyone is busy. Not just me. But everyone. REALLY! I think it is our tendency, or maybe it is just my tendency, to think that we have so much going on that we can't see other people do to. If ever I think "I just don't have time to do this, what was I thinking?" I go and I listen to other members. Especially board members. That silences any lingering doubts about being too busy. We all are busy. We just find the time one way or another or plan MONTHS in advance so we can get the things done that we need to. Sometimes I just write a "To Do List" and then go down the line so I don't forget what needs to be done. It amazes me how much planning has gone on for the conference that is taking place this weekend! Way before I was ever elected. So the ball was moving way ahead of time.
Despite how excited I am though, I still feel green about this position. But I'm not afraid like I was. Actually I take that back, I still can be fearful, I just take the seeds of those fears out back and shoot them IMMEDIATELY! Sometimes I have to shoot them more than once and they have a nasty habit of resurrecting and coming back. I get the whole idea now about how a leader can still be afraid but yet not let the fear take over. I just keep saying to myself that it's okay to fear and it is even alright to just get comfortable with it and then I'm not so afraid.
I'm sure there are many applications to using that in life.
Moral of the story is silence your negative internal voice, don't say you can't when you really don't know until you try, and just do it. All sage and great advice to live by. To bad I didn't invent them. They have been floating around for years this is just my application of them in my life.
Ciao
Monday, March 2, 2009
Nerves of noodles
We are just a few days away from having the ANWA Conference and things are getting exciting. (And I'm getting nervous too, I have to admit that.) But I've got a buzz of excitement on the side.
So far it looks like we are going to have a very healthy turn out. I don't know the numbers of what we have had in the past, but the prediction is around 80 people? And that is fabulous! It's great to see so much interest and following for our conferences.
So why am I nervous?
Well, speaking in front of people isn't my strong point. I'd be less nervous if I'd say been teaching in a church calling where I had to be in front of people often. But as it is I haven't, not complaining, just a fact. I mean I did have a talk in church two weeks ago. I tried to keep in mind when I was preparing the talk that talking in church will be like hosting at the conference except a few less people, so the conference should be a breeze right? Of course, talking at church is a bit more short lived. 15 to 20 minutes and then your done. I'm the host at the conference! It won't be "Hi, thanks for coming... enjoy your day?" Or maybe it is that simple? *flutter*
So tell my nerves it won't be a big deal? I'm anxious about it. About just being a total goof ball and saying something dumb. Or worse forgetting to thank someone that's helped out or one of the presenters... or just anything out there. I guess the only way to get over it is to do it. But until then I'll probably be just anxious about it. No denying that.
It's weird being both excited and anxious about the conference though. I can guarantee that when I go to LDStorymakers Conference in April that I'll be paying special attention to all the people directing the thing for tips. Since I'll be doing this again next year, and I'll hardly be a pro by then either.
Course, we are always our own worst critic right? So I'm sure I'll be more hard on myself than everyone else will be on me. I'll I have to do is keep it together and not freak out.
Simple enough right?
*laugh*
PS. What is up with blogspot today? I can't add a subject line? The field is missing??
*edit* Yeah, there is nothing wrong with blogspot today and their subject/title option. But there is something wrong with my brain. Somehow I turned off my title option. *DOH*
So far it looks like we are going to have a very healthy turn out. I don't know the numbers of what we have had in the past, but the prediction is around 80 people? And that is fabulous! It's great to see so much interest and following for our conferences.
So why am I nervous?
Well, speaking in front of people isn't my strong point. I'd be less nervous if I'd say been teaching in a church calling where I had to be in front of people often. But as it is I haven't, not complaining, just a fact. I mean I did have a talk in church two weeks ago. I tried to keep in mind when I was preparing the talk that talking in church will be like hosting at the conference except a few less people, so the conference should be a breeze right? Of course, talking at church is a bit more short lived. 15 to 20 minutes and then your done. I'm the host at the conference! It won't be "Hi, thanks for coming... enjoy your day?" Or maybe it is that simple? *flutter*
So tell my nerves it won't be a big deal? I'm anxious about it. About just being a total goof ball and saying something dumb. Or worse forgetting to thank someone that's helped out or one of the presenters... or just anything out there. I guess the only way to get over it is to do it. But until then I'll probably be just anxious about it. No denying that.
It's weird being both excited and anxious about the conference though. I can guarantee that when I go to LDStorymakers Conference in April that I'll be paying special attention to all the people directing the thing for tips. Since I'll be doing this again next year, and I'll hardly be a pro by then either.
Course, we are always our own worst critic right? So I'm sure I'll be more hard on myself than everyone else will be on me. I'll I have to do is keep it together and not freak out.
Simple enough right?
*laugh*
PS. What is up with blogspot today? I can't add a subject line? The field is missing??
*edit* Yeah, there is nothing wrong with blogspot today and their subject/title option. But there is something wrong with my brain. Somehow I turned off my title option. *DOH*
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Imagine that!
I have a confession to make... I haven't even hinted about this one for the last six months. It's been on my mind just stewing about because I'm just built like that.
I've gone and gotten myself elected as the Executive President to the American Night Writers Association. *WOW!*
Here's the dirt:
I went to the ANWA retreat this last summer and was posed a challenge to run for the President. Really. At that time I hadn't even been a member of ANWA a complete year. In fact, when my youngest son turns 2 in May it will be two years since I've KNOWN that an organization like ANWA even existed. October 2009 will be my two year joining anniversary. I'm as green as they come!
Last year I volunteered myself to the Vice President of my chapter, Westside Stories, mainly because I wanted to make myself commit to attending monthly and helping in something I believed in. Little could I have known that it was going to lead further than that.
Well, my family's first reaction to all of this was I was crazy and that I didn't have to do it. Which didn't help but it really proved to me that I wasn't going to be influenced by any one person in this decision except myself and a higher power. From the time I left the retreat till the time I finally said, "I'll run," I felt drawn by the spirit of God to this position. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where I felt drawn to do this. There wasn't a prayer that went unanswered about doing it. Believe me I really was on the fence about doing it. I've got two young children and my own issues and things that could make this path for me difficult. But even through all of that I just felt that it was the right thing to do and that God had his hand in making my fears about it calm.
So here I am. Elected.
I don't say this because I am begrudgingly doing it. Not at all. I have really good reasons for saying yes. And it is deeply personal. Even though I have no experience and no connections and very little leadership experience. The one thing that I do have is enthusiasm in this association. And I do love the ladies. I mean what's there not to love? We are all creative, we are all struggling in one way or another, we all love writing... we are one in many things.
I was absolutely certain at last years ANWA Conference, "Line Upon Line" with the speaker's opening presentation that I was going to be an ANWA member for life! Prayers I made in my youth were answered right there and then (and now) when I found this organization. There are so many feelings I want to express about it that I just don't know where to start! Maybe I'll be able to get them out a bit at time in this blog.
But the number one person I want to thank first is God Himself! He answered my prayers, He's guided me this far, and He has faith in me to do the job. Right now is my time to jump in and learn what I can, soak it up like a sponge. I can't say I'll be perfect at it, and I'll need direction with the ropes for a time till I get it all down enough that I'm not a nervous wreck. But I can't go back and not be excited about being here. I can't NOT be involved in something I really am committed to. And that is this organization of ANWA!
ANWA will probably make a bigger impact on me than I will on it. But I will give my best effort and let my heart lead me where it goes. I've never been disappointed when I've followed it. I've still struggled, but it has always benefited my growth as a person in the end. I'm sure this opportunity will be no different.
I've gone and gotten myself elected as the Executive President to the American Night Writers Association. *WOW!*
Here's the dirt:
I went to the ANWA retreat this last summer and was posed a challenge to run for the President. Really. At that time I hadn't even been a member of ANWA a complete year. In fact, when my youngest son turns 2 in May it will be two years since I've KNOWN that an organization like ANWA even existed. October 2009 will be my two year joining anniversary. I'm as green as they come!
Last year I volunteered myself to the Vice President of my chapter, Westside Stories, mainly because I wanted to make myself commit to attending monthly and helping in something I believed in. Little could I have known that it was going to lead further than that.
Well, my family's first reaction to all of this was I was crazy and that I didn't have to do it. Which didn't help but it really proved to me that I wasn't going to be influenced by any one person in this decision except myself and a higher power. From the time I left the retreat till the time I finally said, "I'll run," I felt drawn by the spirit of God to this position. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where I felt drawn to do this. There wasn't a prayer that went unanswered about doing it. Believe me I really was on the fence about doing it. I've got two young children and my own issues and things that could make this path for me difficult. But even through all of that I just felt that it was the right thing to do and that God had his hand in making my fears about it calm.
So here I am. Elected.
I don't say this because I am begrudgingly doing it. Not at all. I have really good reasons for saying yes. And it is deeply personal. Even though I have no experience and no connections and very little leadership experience. The one thing that I do have is enthusiasm in this association. And I do love the ladies. I mean what's there not to love? We are all creative, we are all struggling in one way or another, we all love writing... we are one in many things.
I was absolutely certain at last years ANWA Conference, "Line Upon Line" with the speaker's opening presentation that I was going to be an ANWA member for life! Prayers I made in my youth were answered right there and then (and now) when I found this organization. There are so many feelings I want to express about it that I just don't know where to start! Maybe I'll be able to get them out a bit at time in this blog.
But the number one person I want to thank first is God Himself! He answered my prayers, He's guided me this far, and He has faith in me to do the job. Right now is my time to jump in and learn what I can, soak it up like a sponge. I can't say I'll be perfect at it, and I'll need direction with the ropes for a time till I get it all down enough that I'm not a nervous wreck. But I can't go back and not be excited about being here. I can't NOT be involved in something I really am committed to. And that is this organization of ANWA!
ANWA will probably make a bigger impact on me than I will on it. But I will give my best effort and let my heart lead me where it goes. I've never been disappointed when I've followed it. I've still struggled, but it has always benefited my growth as a person in the end. I'm sure this opportunity will be no different.
Friday, March 7, 2008
So I'm on a roll...
We had our March meeting for the Westside Stories just last evening. It was a wonderful meeting, very uplifting.
This was the thought that I brought to share. I really like that quote although I just found it recently online. Life teaches you experience that makes a big impact on your writing if you let it. If you tap into it.
The one bit of information that I want to post really quick, because it is on my mind and the most inspiring thing that was given to us at the ANWA Conference by Tristi Pinkston, is a speech given by an LDS General Authority in 1888 by Orson F. Whitney titled "Home Literature." We could hardly remember it all, because she used so much of the information from that speech, so note taking was difficult. (I was going to email her and get the full text, but the Westside Stories President, Faith, found it for us.)
A most excellent read!
Orson F. Whitney "Home Literature"
Tristi gave a compelling lesson about tapping into our spirituality to became a better writer. She challenged that writing is a deeply spiritual experience and that every good writer taps their spirituality to do their best work. In fact, if we do not tap that spirituality our writing lacks a spark that will make it stand out from just any book, poem, or writing genre.
I will definitely share more of what I learned in her class. Just not right now.
"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."
~ E.L. Doctorow
This was the thought that I brought to share. I really like that quote although I just found it recently online. Life teaches you experience that makes a big impact on your writing if you let it. If you tap into it.
The one bit of information that I want to post really quick, because it is on my mind and the most inspiring thing that was given to us at the ANWA Conference by Tristi Pinkston, is a speech given by an LDS General Authority in 1888 by Orson F. Whitney titled "Home Literature." We could hardly remember it all, because she used so much of the information from that speech, so note taking was difficult. (I was going to email her and get the full text, but the Westside Stories President, Faith, found it for us.)
A most excellent read!
Orson F. Whitney "Home Literature"
Tristi gave a compelling lesson about tapping into our spirituality to became a better writer. She challenged that writing is a deeply spiritual experience and that every good writer taps their spirituality to do their best work. In fact, if we do not tap that spirituality our writing lacks a spark that will make it stand out from just any book, poem, or writing genre.
I will definitely share more of what I learned in her class. Just not right now.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My First Post
So I guess I should write something interesting in this post since it is my "first."
I totally would... but I'm so focused on making the decor look nice, inviting, and unique for my focus in this blog... that I'm using all my creativity to beautify it.
I know, BIG disappointment. But it is what it is. I'm a writer who is also a "SAHM" and I can only do so much in one day at one time. (Heck, sometimes it is only 5 minutes, if that?) I'll probably continue to make little changes as I go.
But I do have time to say just a tad about myself. I just attended a Conference given by ANWA this last weekend on March 1st. (American Night Writers Association) It was amazing. I'll definitely be writing more about that conference in the future as I review my notes and write about what I learned.
I've been a member of ANWA for a few months now, but I've been attending meetings for about a year next month. It is an amazing resource!! I'm really glad that the President of my chapter, the Westside Stories, felt inspired to pass around some fliers at church or I'd never have known about it!
Actually, I volunteered to be the Vice President of our chapter this year. I did that so I'd make myself feel more responsible to come. Motivation. Can't back out now, cause I'm part of the leadership!! (Good thing that no one was really jumping to be the vice president!) That may be a bad reason for the other members to have me as their fearless vice pres, cause I volunteered, but for me it really IS a good motivation for me to be responsible to the rest of the group. Which is also the reason why I'm going to meetings to begin with. To have a group of people that want to hear what I've done for the last month in writing terms, gives you your first audience. Sympathetic ears.
One of the lessons I gave this last fall 2007 said just that. That bit of information came from a book called "Art & Fear" by David Bayles and Ted Orland. Many wise words and great information about why we do what we do and what keeps us from doing it is in that book. I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in any creative medium, as it is about "Art" and "creative individuals" as a whole.
I totally would... but I'm so focused on making the decor look nice, inviting, and unique for my focus in this blog... that I'm using all my creativity to beautify it.
I know, BIG disappointment. But it is what it is. I'm a writer who is also a "SAHM" and I can only do so much in one day at one time. (Heck, sometimes it is only 5 minutes, if that?) I'll probably continue to make little changes as I go.
But I do have time to say just a tad about myself. I just attended a Conference given by ANWA this last weekend on March 1st. (American Night Writers Association) It was amazing. I'll definitely be writing more about that conference in the future as I review my notes and write about what I learned.
I've been a member of ANWA for a few months now, but I've been attending meetings for about a year next month. It is an amazing resource!! I'm really glad that the President of my chapter, the Westside Stories, felt inspired to pass around some fliers at church or I'd never have known about it!
Actually, I volunteered to be the Vice President of our chapter this year. I did that so I'd make myself feel more responsible to come. Motivation. Can't back out now, cause I'm part of the leadership!! (Good thing that no one was really jumping to be the vice president!) That may be a bad reason for the other members to have me as their fearless vice pres, cause I volunteered, but for me it really IS a good motivation for me to be responsible to the rest of the group. Which is also the reason why I'm going to meetings to begin with. To have a group of people that want to hear what I've done for the last month in writing terms, gives you your first audience. Sympathetic ears.
One of the lessons I gave this last fall 2007 said just that. That bit of information came from a book called "Art & Fear" by David Bayles and Ted Orland. Many wise words and great information about why we do what we do and what keeps us from doing it is in that book. I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in any creative medium, as it is about "Art" and "creative individuals" as a whole.
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